--Gary Freymiller
I was born into a godly home and grew up attending an
evangelical church. I did not become personally interested in
spiritual things, however, until I left home to attend college.
Because of my parents' urgings, and because I was not rebellious
against religion, I ended up attending a Christian college. As I
listened to my peers, My professors, and my preachers, the
message I kept hearing was that "We are all forgiven sinners;
we all sin in thought word, and deed every day." My
experience certainly agreed with what everyone around me was
saying because I was a slave to sin. I did not sin grossly and
openly, but I was often aware of my commission of the sins of the
heart that Jesus taught against in Matthew 5. However, I was
comfortable in my belief that Jesus had died to forgive me of my
sins and because of this "faith" I thought I was a true
Christian.
During the time I continued to knowingly commit sin
and think of myself as a Christian (a period of about eight years),
I was not satisfied. Something was missing. When I got married
about four years ago I thought my wife would be my fulfillment.
She is a wonderful woman, but after about six months of marriage
I realized that she could not give me the deep peace that I
needed. For a time I sought happiness in trying to accumulate
wealth. When this did not bring happiness I turned to golf. I was
a terrible golfer, but I was determined to get better. I enrolled
in a golf class and purchased a season pass at a nearby course. I
was on the course every morning at 5:30 A. M. I steadily improved
until one morning I carded a one over par for nine holes, about
five or six strokes better than my previous best. Surely this
would give me the satisfaction I was looking for. But after I had
told everyone at work, I went home the same person I had been the
day before. About a week later I read a sermon by John Wesley
called "Salvation by Faith." Wesley explained how the
faith that meets the condition for salvation is not just a mental
assent to the life and work of Jesus, but rather a sure trust and
confidence that a person had in God. Through the life, death, and
resurrection of Christ his sins are forgiven, and he has peace
with God. As a result of this confidence of forgiveness, a
reconciliation with God and a loving heart follow, enabling the
true Christian to live a life of obedience to God. At that very
moment in my mind's eye I saw Christ as truly crucified for my
sins and I was set at liberty. I could praise God from the bottom
of by heart. I loved Him as I never loved anyone before.
The major struggles in my life seemed to vanish away.
I still had problems, but I was a new creation, bound for heaven.
What were major struggles before were opportunities to thank God
for His wonderful grace and peace. Not only was my heart filled
with love and joy, but I was immediately set free from my life of
secret sins. Not in a month or a week or even a day, but at the
instant I took God at His word, He freed me form the bondage of
sin I had been living in and struggling against for years. Today,
nearly two years later, I continue to love Him as my all in all.
I continue to have victory over temptations. Let me say that this
testimony is not an experience of entire sanctification nor is it
an account of the deepening of an existing Christian life. It is
an account of passing from death to life, from darkness to light,
from enmity to peace with God. Prior to June 25, 1991 I was what
John Wesley termed an "almost Christian." I had three
distinguishing characteristics: (1) heathen honesty, (2) a form
of godliness, and (3) sincerity. For years I lived in this
condition thinking myself a Christian and inviting others to
think the same. However, I lacked three necessities to being a
real Christian: (1) the love of God, (2) love for my neighbor,
and (3) saving faith. Read Matthew 5, Romans 6-8, and the book of
1 John. Ask God to show you if it is possible and if He requires
us to live a life of victory over sin. I believe the Bible
clearly teaches that we can and must live in such a state of
happiness and holiness if we are to see the Lord.