"I run in the path of your commands for you have set my heart free."

Psalm 119:32

It has often amazed me how concerned people are to find out about my "experience." It seems that most people try to fit all of reality into their own experience, and any claim that doesn't fit in is often brushed aside like some pesky spider web.

I became a Christian when I was 17 and came to experience a life I could have never imagined, founded on the objective truth revealed by the Creator of the universe. This often seems to puzzle the world. Yet I have also experienced something many in the Church do not understand, either, or would not acknowledge if they had.

Not long after my conversion, a guest speaker preached at the church I had started to attend. I can remember him talking about us being united with Christ in his death, saying that we no longer had to sin, and that sin had no more objective power over us than it has over a corpse (cf Rom 6). At the time, God seemed so real to me and the Scriptures so powerful that I can't remember giving the preacher's declarations even the slightest doubt. As a matter of fact, during the whole next year and a half, I can only remember once even experiencing something I could even call a temptation.

Also during that time a Jesuit Priest asked me if I struggled with lust. I was very surprised by his question. I hadn't been surprised when people asked me if I was on drugs, why I was so happy, or what on earth had happened to me; but this question surprised me. He was even more surprised by my answer: I told him that no, of course I didn't struggle with lust! The very idea that a Christian would struggle with sin was completely foreign to me. I had assumed he was a Christian and that all Christians had the same belief-experience that I had. My experience at this time was perhaps exceptional but that is another topic.

That was many years ago, and I am sometimes still amazed that God allowed me to experience such innocence. Since that time I have been somewhat confused and saddened to find that my experience was not at all common. Not only that, but many books I went on to read, and many people I went on to meet told me that I had to sin. The Scriptures they used to back up their confused beliefs appeared to conflict with other Scriptures, and I couldn't seem to reconcile them. During this time, I also lost that absolutely supernatural sense of joy that I had for so long. My life was still dramatically better than what it was before Christ; but I had lost a sense of fullness. 

I am now thankful for that time because it drove me to my knees. As a result, I have come to a firmer grasp of what the Scriptures do teach about walking in the light, and now have a greater confidence in Christ as my righteousness and my sanctification. I acknowledge with shame that through these years I have stained my hands more than once, but I know where the responsibility lies. If I sin now, I know it is my fault. I can't blame my genes, my mother, or my God. God always has and always will be my strength in this battle if I will but abide in his perfect love. God is trustworthy and I challenge everyone to take him at his word, don't listen to those, who think it is foolish to trust him to express his holiness in us.

 The truth will set you free.

CJSchmidtz@StopSinning.net